First of all, I am not sure why the hell Asia is all different colors on this map so please ignore that.
Second of all, isn't my lovely red-plane-route just...well, lovely? I think so.
Third of all, none of the above is actually relevant to this post. So let's get on with it.
The purpose of this post is to address the flight to Europe. It was a challenge, it was a tragedy, it was embarrassing. So strap yourselves in, put your phone on silent and read on!
I, Christina, tend to get sick. A lot. I tend to take on my stress somatically and this has resulted in a ton of gastrointestinal issues. In layman's terms, I have a "nervous stomach". This would lead many (including myself) to believe that I was destined to get sick on this trip due to all the chaos leading up to it, the traveling, the sleep deprivation and the stress; but surprisingly, as we sat in the airport, I felt really good.
I was doing lots of deep breathing, I was visualizing positive outcomes to the flight and I told myself I was a strong, sensitive and powerful woman who was in control of my own body. I was channeling the spirit of Oprah with every breath. I felt good!
We boarded, found our seats on the plane and sat down. Our plane was set up in a 3 X 5 X 3 arrangement just like the one seen below:
A B C - D E F G H - I J K
Cody and I were in seats J and K. I was in J. Because I am nice, and wanted Cody to have the window. And I wanted to sleep on him. Each seat was supposed to have this handy dandy individual TV set, which was placed in the headrest in front of you.
Mine didn't work. Of course.
Now let me just say that I grew up going on road trips with family and I know what it is to sit still for hours bored out of your mind and let's just say I am not particularly demanding when it comes to entertainment. I brought a book, I brought cards, I am a Girl Scout and I am always prepared. But...well this flight was to be 10 hours. And I kind of wanted to watch some tele. So I asked the lovely British flight attendant if there was anything they could do. She tried resetting it and then said "I am sor-rey mum, there isn't an-ey place else I could put you". I stared at her, embarrassed to answer her in boring American English before realizing she had already heard my voice. So I told her not to worry about it and I moved on, I work in customer service, I get that the television breaking isn't this ladies fault so I dropped it. No big deal.
So the plane took off and I was just thankful that we were on our way, the flight hadn't been cancelled and it had even left on time. Things were looking good. Oprah pumped through me like life blood.
Dinner was served, I ate about two bites and then tried sleeping. Let's just say that didn't really happen. And then something else happened...nausea. A lot of nausea. Like "oh crap I have to wake up the lady next to me because I need to run to the bathroom and get sick" nausea.
I know what you are thinking! How did this happen?? I was channeling the spirit of Oprah for Christ sake! Well let me enlighten you dear readers, the reasons are threefold...
1) I was hungry and tired.
2) Along with my TV not working, the air wasn't working. You know how normally on a plane you have an air vent above your head which you can use to regulate the temperature in your chair (or something like that). Well our plane didn't have these, it had one for everyone to share and the air didn't shoot downwards it shot sideways so that no air actually hit you. Just so you can visualize how warm the plane was, this was a red eye flight that typically involves most people sleeping for a majority of the flight. Not one person was wearing their blanket or a jacket. It was hot. Hot.
3) Remember the map at the top of the page? Well the red line marks the planes route from San Francisco to London. We went North over Oregon and Washington into Northern Canada and across Greenland. In January. Do you think that is going to be turbulent? Well it was.
And each of these reasons resulted in me spending an hour in the bathroom, getting sick. That is right, I spent the last three hours locked in a stall cursing British Airways to the depths of Hell. I was totally drained, I had absolutely no food or liquid left in me. I started showing all the signs of dehydration and I was pissed.
This is NOT what I had planned for. This was NOT how I wanted to start my trip. This is NOT in the spirit of Oprah!
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